ok I'm gonna try to make my last blog go away now.....wish me luck. We threw a surprise party for rachel's birthday this past saturday. it was a success for the most part. friday night we beat lakeside 35 to 0. go senators! sunday i went to this AWESOME concert.....staind, blue october, trapt, eve 6, and 6 other bands that arents important enough to remember........totally kicked butt! the people to my left were getting drunk, and the people to my right who were already drunk were getting stoned.....yes that's right- contact high. we were that close. but thats not important. it was a mere inconvenience. big biology test and lab report due today...hope i did well. we got this essay to write in history and if we enter and win the national contest "my committment to america", then we could get up to $25,000 scholarship money......i havent even started on it yet and its due within the next week. plus we have to record it on cassette and im just at a loss as to what i could possibly do for america as one person.....may that'll be my spin off. major points are for content and origniality.....so again, wish me luck. right now moms makin neiman markus cookies- wait a second....THESE COOKIES ROCK!!!! now on to my friends....daniel was "resenting" me all weekend which totaaly made me sad, marilea was one of the drunks at the concert and although she is in a great mood when she's intoxicated, i could do without it. i miss ladona and rachel and erica too, and i cant do anything about that because i swear bo hates me all the sudden and evan and i...well, its just awkward. i saved lizz for the end because i just cant put my finger on it lately but shes awfully edgy towards me. i dont know if its me making her so angry, if shes got a lot goin on that shes not tellin me about, if shes got medication issues, or if shes mad at me for something particular....but it really bugs me when shes like this because i cant do anything right with her. i mean dont get me wrong, its not like shes constantly hating me or anything, its just that recently shes been snappy i guess every now and then when i say something. i dunno, but shes one of the funnest people and i hate her snapping at me, especially when i dont think i deserve it. maybe we've just spent too much time together lately i dunno. brandon has been calling me a lot lately too. he really misses arkansas and from what i gather things arent peachy in texas anymore. i feel bad for him because i dont know how to help and he cant help himself it seems. kyle.......grr....i dont get it. we break up and talk for like 2 days after, then we have a huge fight over stupid sh*t and we stop talkin for a week solid. then i make the effort to go see him and talk to him, try to work out our differences because as long as ive known him hes always riding me for "not puttin forth any effort" when it came to him. so i went and put forth some effort and stayed over at his house with him for over an hour just talking about why i was mad and what i wanted from him and how i hated fighting etc and ya know what results i get? i get a hug and a kiss goodbye when i leave his house and thats the last damn time he looked at me. gosh that makes me soooo angry! and i dont want to be angry about it because i dont want to care and i force myself to forget but little things remind me and then i get angry again.....ahh stupid viscious cycles! bubba got this new job FINALLY where he actually has a steady income....granted its only $25,000 or so a year, but it's more than what he makes being a waiter which is all he's ever known since he was 14 years old. its ridiculous. but at least now my parents wont have to pay his bills and he can maybe grow up a bit and stop spending all his $$ on alcohol.....that ticks me off too. its just soooo pointless. but enough about that. the fair is in town-- we're takin lizz on friday. now all we gotta do is figure out who's driving. lizz has never been- isnt that amazing? like brandon said last night : who lives in arkansas and doesnt go to the fair?! apparently lizz lol. im glad clint and i are gettin to be good friends this year, it helps me stay in a better mood because i just have so much fun when im with him and his family.....they're a barrel of fun as u might say. oh yeah and joseph is suddenly friendly which kinda frightens me but not really because i figure as long as it doesnt scare me, nothing can be as bad as i make it. doubt that made any sense. i wish my friends would update their blogs again.......(HINT).......