lizz and i went to buy her prom dress at mccain- its very pretty. im so glad shes going cuz it wouldnt have been prom without her. i think marilea is really pissed off at me and i have a slight idea of why but im not sure. i just hate it when shes mad at me or anyone else for that matter....daniel and i are supposed to have this serious discussion tonight via telephone so wish me luck! but whatever you do, dont CALL me to do that cuz ill be on the phone lol. brandon called me the other night and we talked for a good 2 hours- making up for over a month of not speakin to each other. play has been put on hold for awhile cuz of stupid bus strike....ridiculous. i think ive been at school only for one whole day this week....sad really since its friday. uhhh im tired but mom says if i can drive, i need to go to school---guess its all for the best. maybe ill get someone else sick YAY ok gotta go get ready now......

new song titled Until the Day I Die by Story of the Year.....here are the lyrics: Until The Day I Die
Until the day I die
I'll spill my heart for you, for you
Until the day I die
I'll spill my heart for you

As years go by
I race the clock with you
But if you died right now
You know that I'd die to
I'd die too

You remind me of the times
When I knew who I was (I was)
But still the second hand will catch us
Like it always does

We'll make the same mistakes
I'll take the fall for you
I hope you need this now
Cause I know I still do

Until the day I die (Until the day I die)
I'll spill my heart for you
Until the day I die (Until the day I die)
I'll spill my heart for you

Should I bite my tongue?
Until blood soaks my shirt
We'll never fall apart
Tell me why this hurts so much
My hands are at your throat
And I think I hate you
But still we'll say, "remember when"
Just like we always do
Just like we always do

Until the day I die (Until the day I die)
I'll spill my heart for you
Until the day I die (Until the day I die)
I'll spill my heart for you

Yeah I'd spill my heart!!!
Yeah I'd spill my heart for you!!!

My hands are at your throat
And I think I hate you
We made the same mistakes
Mistakes like friends do

My hands are at your throat
And I think I hate you
We made the same mistakes
Made the same mistakes

Until the day I die
I'll spill my heart for you, for you

Until the day I die (Until the day I die)
I'll spill my heart for you, for you
Until the day I die (Until the day I die)
I'll spill my heart for you
Until the day I die (Until the day I die)
Until the day I die!!!

Great song- reminds me of things and people and places.....I haven't blogged in awhile so heres the latest. Didn't go to school today because I have had this HUGE HORRIBLE migraine all last night and today and the medication I take for it restricts me from driving unfortunately. I was actually looking forward to going to school today to see exactly how life would be with Kenneth gone, but still around. NO MORE PSYCHOPATHIC BOYFRIEND...thought I'd throw that in there. why is it that when ya get a b/f and yall break up its all about the hating and the 'i dont care the hell with them!' etc crap but then when finally do move on, all you can think about is the good stuff about all of your ex's and how much u really do miss it.....ehh maybe thats just me. sometimes...well most of the time actually...i know i go overboard. lets change the subject now. liza stayed with me like all of last week til tuesday night this week- that was fun. went to a movie with my clinton...went on an outing with my daniel and liza to garden ridge, burger king, toys r us, and guitar center, then we came back here and played pool. my brothers back from "tampa"- i put it in quotes b/c we dont know if thats where he REALLY went. no idea what im gonna do about a prom date but im not too worried bout it because i know ill have fun either way. ive finally got the Cingular instead of the wretched Sprint (the devil grrr). ok migraines comin back, so im leaving. maybe ill make it to rehearsals this afternoon after all .............i hope.....

took a nap for bout an hour or so, and i had a dream-continuance so im here to discuss. it starts out im in a crowd of like everyone ive ever met and everyone is crying and laughing, theres balloons and streamers-- typical party scene. ok so everyone is hugging me and kissin me on the cheek etc. and im doin the same to them. suddenly its pitch dark and someone grabs me, a man, and drags me through the darkness. i hear a door shut behind us and then footsteps shuffling, as if there was more than one person in the room. mystery man gives me a peck on the lips then hands me to the next person who does the same and so on through about 5 or 6 people. this whole time im totally confused and disoriented, but the last man grabs my hand, begins to dance with me, and whispers "why do you always gotta dog on me for...." and right then someone opens the door from the party and the rest of what he said was drowned out. well the light caught me off gaurd and i stubled towards it, but i finally looked around and the people in the room were: daniel, phillip, lee, shane, jerry, 2 guys i didnt remember, and the last guy that had danced with me had disappeared through another door. i questioned everyone there as to who it was and no one would tell. so i asked what was goin on and they all said it was my farewell party and i asked where i was going and again, no one would tell me. back in the party all the chicks were having a blast cept evan and rachel were fighting and erica was on the phone with kevin. im tryin to have fun and get into the festivities but that voice, the whisper just haunts me b/c i recognized the voice but i couldnt place who it was........thats irritating ya know. i find casey and ask where nicole is and if her and kale got back together and she said nicole didnt come because kale told her he never wanted to see her again. so i asked her if that meant the twins were at my party and she said "somewhere", but i ignored it and went to dance with everyone. then its a slow dance, a familiar song: I see the moon and the moon sees me, the moon sees the one that i want to see. so God bless the moon, and God bless me, and God bless the one that I want to see.......im lookin through the crowd for someone to dance with and it seems as if suddenly im invisable. then someone from behind puts a blindfold over my eyes and says "dont be afraid"- its the voice. he turns me around and begins to dance with me again..........i wake up and "ya ya sisterhood" is on the television and if anyone has seen that movie, then u understand where that song comes from................BUT WHO IS THE MYSTERY GUY

new dream! must write down! ok so its morning time and thisugly mean teacher lady takes about ohh 15 people on a field trip- including me, marilea, liza, kale, nicole, and kyle minyard. liza drives her car and shows up late by herself, the rest of us seem to be in this van-type situation. anyways, the trip is to some natural scene, a park perhaps, and we're all walkin around talking (we all meaning us chicks). then we go to stand by the van thing for our lunch i suppose, and no one comes cept kyle and hes standing there talkin to us which i guess i was the only one was wasnt freaked out by that because marilea and lizz walk off to go to find the teacher lady to unlock the doors. so when they come back the teacher lets us get our lunches and kyles all "hey can i talk to u for a minute" so i stayed behind. well we get in the van and turn on the air conditioning and then hes all like "lets do somethin thatll get us both in trouble for once" and i was like uhh noooo but then he grabs me and starts giving me a hickey! ewwwwwwww! and so i kicked him u know where and he got in the drivers seat and said "fine! if u wont do it with me, u wont do it with ANYONE!" and starts the van, squeals the tires, and proceeds to kidnap me and steal school property. now me, naturally, im freakin out near tears yadda yadda and when he tries to find his way out of the park he ended up goin right back to the place where we started, cept now there were cops and a roadblock (im smiling about now lol). ok so blah blah kyle gets arrested and im all upset and stuff because im like omg whats kenneth gonna think when he sees this hickey on my neck and for some reason i flash back (idk how ppl flash back in dreams but anyways) to the conversation he and i had that night before the field trip about trust. i remember saying "if u would just TRUST me then we wouldnt have these problems! why dont u trust me?!" he was silent... "kenneth! DO you trust me?" and again silence....i believe that was like pre-break up mode but im not sure. so anyways, im in hysterics from all the afternoons issues and plus kyle had eaten my lunch so im starving and so i start askin around to beg for food- u know how we are. well, someone says "hey, i just heard someone over there say they had a subway with nothing but ham, maybe its urs after all" so i walk over to this group: kale, nicole, and some other ppl i dont remember and asked. of course, it was kale. so he splits his sandwich with me and im sittin on this bench with him and nicole when for some reason i got really tired and laid my head down on his shoulder. well he grabbed my legs and propped them up on his legs and nicole was all like "what are u doin?" and he goes "shes exhausted. she just got kidnapped by a stoner-- i kinda feel for her thats all." nicole just looked at him and kept talking but i was in some state between sleep and awake so i could hear them, but i was too tired to move. well, to shorten their convo, they were fightin bout how kale is a player etc. he said something along the lines bout how if he found the right chick, he wouldnt be like that and if she couldnt understand that, then obviously she wasnt the right chick. naturally, nicole gets pissed and storms away and then kale woke me up to go get back on the bus. well somehow everyone but us three went back in liza's car, but in the van, nicole refused to sit with us. u know me, im still all passed out layin down in the backseat but kale didnt wanna sit with nicole either so my feet were in his lap. nobody was talking at all. well i wake up suddenly and realize what the heck is goin on and i tried to convince nicole that kale was j/k and all this but to no luck, they were broken up and that was that, which only made me think bout kenneth. kale asked me what was wrong and i was tellin him all bout it when we stopped at a gas station and nicole went inside. thats when it happened. kale kissed me, and not just an "aww how sweet" kiss......which needless to say didnt help calm me down because to the best of my knowledge, i still have a b/f. so im yellin at him askin him why he did that and hed better be glad no one saw etc and he finally goes "i dont know why i didnt see you before, youve been standin right there for years...." and THATS when i woke up. now questions? comments? spazs? u can reach me through email or im! too-dah-loo! lol