one thing i realize is that my life really is pretty good. the man that is satisfied with his life is indeed a rich soul. i awake every morning with the urge to go right back to sleep, hoping that if only i could just stay there in my bed, i could be happy. hope is something i apparently have a lot of. i hope a lot of things everyday for me, my friends, my family. sometimes i hope for the not so good but most of the time its for the better.
something that cannot go without mention is that the friendships i have right now are my life. i grew up with these people, i live with these people, i am one of them. my friendships are what keep me going everyday. they are the reason i get up in the morning and go to school. from each of my friendships i can pull a quality that i myself possess and treasure. from marilea, i get understanding. the ability to look at every situation with unbelievable faith in the other person's point of view. she's always telling me: "yeah but i mean look at it from her point of view" which makes me all the better of a person. from lizz i get my humor. i dont think i ever would have been the amazingly witty person i am, if i am even considered that, without her. although it is an odd sense of humor, it never ceases to entertain thats for sure. from ladona, i get my fun-loving nature. she encourages me to have fun in everything i do, no matter how stupid, dangerous, boring, or whatever the problem. just have fun doin it she says. makes my life so much less stressful. from daniel, i dont know what i get. i guess i get my serious side from him. he was really one of the first guys to ever really love me, and with him it was just an open seriousness. i can sit there and bitch bitch bitch at him being absolutely dead serious and he will just take it. i mean sure he'll bitch right back, but he will let me vent. i often blame too much on him or take out too much on him and it creates problems, but i guess that's what you get with the serious types. from chad i get my uncanny way to learn things- i guess u can call it a spying technique. that's always good to have. from clint, i get my comfort. i dont know why, but ill always be comfortable around him. from erica, i attained my kick-ass attitude because she's always got someone who just needs to be shot on her list lol. from rachel, i got my bravery- and i guess i get some of that from audra too but nevertheless, rachel is the one who finally brought it out in me. she has always given me the confidence to do what i should do when i should do it. without her i never would have had the great relationship i had with shane and without her i never would have gotten my moment in time with brandon. from brandon i definately get my romance....my need to be perfect. i dunno but i guess the strive for perfection that every person tries to reach whether they admit it or not comes from a good reason. brandon is my good reason. the romance, the passion, everything that he showed me about being a great person is probably what i strive for in this life at the moment. from shane i learned my down-to-earthness because he always had a straight answer for every question. always had a need for things to work and always had something to fix or fiddle with to make it better. he wanted everything to be the best it could be, illegal or not. whether it was my head or my heart that couldnt handle that quality in him, ill never know. from kyle i definately get my sarcasm, but more importantly he gave me my heart and with my heart, the ability to chose what i wanted to do. he gave me Option. daniel never gave me option but i guess when jealousy rears its ugly head, there isnt much else a person can see. i guess i get my dependency from lizz too cuz she sure got me started lol.
I get my Happiness from being around these people, with these friendships. adding all this together makes one hell of a mixture and yet it not only negates itself but it makes perfect sense. when we're all together its not exactly harmony but it flows. whether its a day where we all bitch and bitch back or a day when we all just wanna be playful, we all enjoy it- at least thats how i see it from my perspective. 3 of us are manic-depressive, 3 or 4 are suicidal. we're a wide range of everything from goody-goody's, stoners, runaways, delinquents (yes u can guess that those three were all one person), seminormal people, etc.
**but most of all, we're a Family. Love, hate, deception, lies, secrets, outings, honesty, caring....everything rolled into one big massive lump we call our lives....our lives as The Family.