I have recently discovered my new interest in design. Suddenly I find myself looking at how everything was made, how all the pieces fit together and how simple and how much fun it would be to create something like that. Today I also found myself not only in an unusually bad mood for no particular reason, but also feeling quite alone and mislead. It seemed as though everyone I spoke to was lying to me or holding something back. I then got this urge to draw back, away from the crowd- maybe not physically, but mentally. The smallest thing upset me so much that I wanted to cry about it. It's as if today I was manic-depressive: at times wanting to cry, at others wanting to laugh hysterically, being talkative and yet a recluse, wanting to bitch people out and yet wanting to confess everything as if I was a child with a sudden attack of guilt, and moreover wanting to die......alone.